I want nothing more than to wreak havoc and destruction on every little person that will not give heed to my words and stay in bed.
I'm curious to know how their little brains alter the phrase: "stay in bed" from a direct comand to a mere suggestion.
And what is it about bed time that summons forth every ailment known to man when they had all day to bring any of them to my attention?
"Oh what's that you say? You think that have a sprained thumb, oh and a sliver, your ear hurts? Your stomach doesn't feel right? Rickets huh? Scurvy too? You poor thing. You must have been in so much pain as you played all day with friends and even managed to watch 3 hours of TV tonight."
And then there's the whole H2O issue:
"Oh you're thirsty? Well by all means, please drink as much water as you would like before falling asleep. In fact why not keep a water bottle on your bed side table. I can't think of anything more enjoyable than changing your pee stained sheets in the morning."
Unbelievable!
This never happened when I was a kid. No really, it never did. Back in the day, the punishment for getting out of bed made the "stocks" look like child's play. Those of us with the old school variety of parents (the ones not privy to Love and Logic or any of the other countless choose your own adventure styles of parenting) knew exactly where we stood: stay in bed or you will wish you had...if you know what I mean.
Part of the problem indeed is me. I'm in my 40's. I've been told that doing it in my 20's would have been a bit easier. You apparently have more energy for kids. When 9:00 p.m. hits, I am 3 sheets to the wind with exhaustion. I have nothing left to give. I just want to sit in my bed with my pajamas on (which have been on since 6:00) and do nothing.
Nothing.
SO my little darlings, I beg of you- Please hear my cry...
For the love of all that is decent and holy, Stay in bed!!!
(and I am quite sure that one day I will miss this "phase"and I do know how lucky I am to have kids but none the less, I still want them to stay in bed)
