Now, anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE movies. They don't even have to be good as long as I have a tub of popcorn in one hand and a 1/2 and 1/2 in the other with some milk duds at my feet I am good to go.
So it came as a total shock last night when I had some not so pleasant moments:
First. NEVER, NEVER NEVER attend a show on a weeknight. Those minimum wage-"you need a job during the summer"-"I hate this job my parents made me get"-teenager is not as attentive or discerning to the necessity of "fresh" popcorn on the weeknights as they are on the weekends. The girl actaully sifted the kernels from the popcorn that she got from the bottom of the machine before putting it in my bucket. UGH
Second. The snacks and their price. If I am willing to shell out in dollars the equivilant of a tank of gas, is it too much to ask that the box of milkduds be fresh?
Third. "HEY LADY! Take your kid out of the theater!" This isn't sacrament meeting for crying out loud!
Fourth. The movie. Going back to my earlier comments, my expectations are set pretty low for movies. Again, the treats but mostly I bask in the glory of not having to wipe a bum, answer a question, break up a fight, sweep the floor or say "the kitchen is closed" for the hundreth time.
So we saw "Eclipse" last night. Anna read the book and like any GOOD mother of a teenager who wants to know what vampire smut her daugher is reading... I too read the book.
Did anyone else see it? It was somewhat entertaining -once you get past the bare chests, the dowdy Bella, the controlling boyfriend who sleeps in her room everynight unbeknownst to her father all underthe guise that he "loves" her -hmmmmm, and then there's the dialogue.
I'm no writer and so far be it from me to critique it BUT
Did anyone else.....
have a hard time.....
with the way that they.......
spoke.....
and the.......
cadence of........
their lines.......
All I know.........
is that if someone I .............
loved.......
spoke like that........
to me.
I would probably have........
to....
beat.....
them....
(pause)
up!
REALLY PEOPLE?! really.
Sadly enough.....
I am once again reminded ......
that if everyone in the world .......
could just be...
as awesome as me....
hahahaha
3 comments:
OMG! This is by far the greatest post ever. I laughed and knodded my head in agreement the whole way through. To bad you didn't suffer the tripple feature like I did. Free refills of coke and popcorn kept me alive....not to mention the millions of trips to the bathroom.
You are the funniest ever. But you never addressed the real question, what team are you on? The creapy 45 yr old man in the corner was for team Dakoda Fanning.
I feel EXACTLY the same way. I went with my 15 your niece for her birthday. I couldn't ruin the kids birthday by telling her how horrible the whole thing was, right? All I kept thinking was ewwww Jacob is going to imprint on her unborn child in the next movie. Oh, how to be Stephanie Myer and her money!!!
Amen sister!!!! I actually didn't go to this one because the previous two were just painful to me. I hate bad dialogue. Just HATE it.
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