bad hair day

When it comes to washing my hair, I am one of those every-other-day kinda gals. Today was a wash and blow dry day. I put Lilly down for a nap knowing it takes a good hour to get ready. Now, I am sure many of you can relate to this: I do a lot of thinking in the shower. So this morning I was thinking about how I am going to build a lighthouse for Anna's state report on Maine and what supplies I will need and my visit to Michaels, walking up and down the isles, how to light the top of the light house etc. all the while I am washing my hair and putting conditioner on it. At least I THOUGHT I was. The conditioner felt a bit too slippery- Ahhh CRAP! Body Wash! What the?!!
Well, ladies I am here to tell you that Oil of Olay body wash does not wash out of your hair (I know, one would think that since it is a soap that claims to be "Nourishing and enriched with shea butter and vitamins E,A and B3 to penetrate deep within the surface for conditioning even extra dry skin" and "keeps in moisture without leaving a heavy residue" WHATEVER!!!!!) so today I am living my own version of the Bad Hair Day-shower head Seinfeld episode.

Ahhh Ya gotta love life!

Last one in the pool's a rotten egg

This video makes me cry..........tears of pure joy! I couldn't laugh hard enough, nor could my cheeks hurt any more than they did when I got finished watching.

ENJOY

spring break is over!

well, I made it. The break came and went and I actually had a great time. We decided as a family that since we weren't going anywhere fun, we would make Easter like Christmas and do service projects. Here are some of the highlight from the weekend:

1. Thursday night at the homeless shelter, Kirsten was in charge of the bigger kids making tinfoil painted eggs and I overheard her say: "you guys, stop saying swear words." And when they wouldn't stop she insisted "YOU GUYS, STOP SAYING BAD WORDS...OR you can't do the project."

2. Jim and I doing damage control (ie trying to get the autistic kid out of the swivel chair so he wouldn't puke like he did the night before)

3. Friday night we cooked dinner for about 20 homeless teenagers. One of the girls (who is 16) introduced herself and asked if all the kids were mine. Then she informed us that her mom was 33 and had 7 kids of which the oldest is 20 and that "my mom should be happy with me. I mean at least I waited until I was 16 to get pregnant instead of 12 like her."

4. Jim took Anna with him after cooking dinner and on the way home they drove past Bikini Cuts. Anna asked what it was and Jim said "it''s a place where really sick men get their hair cut." She needed more information so Jim told her what it was. When they got home our sitter was already here and before Jim could even say hello Anna begins with "we met a girl who is 16 and pregnant and her mom got pregnant at 12 and on the way home we drove past Bikini cuts where women wearing bikini's cut men's hair who are really sick. Not puke sick, just sick sick!"

5. Running through the sprinklers because they were "SOOOOO HOT!!!" it was 60 degrees.

6. Going out for lunch and after we finished I notice Kirsten looking like Quasimoto because "my shirt hurts me on my shoulder. (notice the stuffed tissues)

7. Giving Lilly a piece of Croissant which she chokes on. As she is puking I hold out my hand while Jim jumps up to grab a rag, she pukes into my hand again and I see pieces of banana, some milk and a candy wrapper. I am such an amazing mother!

8. realizing that I kinda went overboard with the easter candy this year. (this is what I have LEFT!!! the pile is much bigger in person )
9. Taking the girls to see College Road Trip and being more entertained by Kirsten eating an entire container of cotton candy and then wearing the container on her head out of the theater as is if it were a trophy or something.

10. Losing my wedding ring and trying to explain it to Jim. Putting posts on Craig's list and KSL. com, calling local pawn shops and the sherriff's office. Being up from 3-5 AM unable to sleep and about to vomit, praying my guts out only to find it on a pile of towels as I got ready for church the next morning :)

11. Anna's amazing talk in primary about the resurrection and seeing mom Michelle again some day.

So, here's to a successful spring break. I'm totally beat, I could use a stiff drink and already I'm thinking "what the H-E double hockey sticks am I going to do all summer? :)

xoxo tam

Spring Break

SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!

"Patches, we don't need no stink'n patches"

Well as some of you know I was once a girl scout. It didn't last for long since I was kicked out due to the 1981 cookie scandal. Some of you probably heard about it where the "Brownie" out sells all the other "Brownies" and basks in the glory and then decided to out eat all those bandalo-brown knee high-romper-gay hat-pseudo perm fro-wearing prepubescent girls, by ever so carefully opening the bottoms of MANY boxes, eating the cookies, and cleverly sealing them back shut. Her plan was foiled when she delivered those empty boxes to the poor suckers who trusted that fat little "Brownie" to begin with.

The only reason she joined the Girl Scouts of America was for that treat bucket every Friday. Not only did she get caught but there was a meeting held with the Utah Chapter President, the "Fat Brownie's" troop leader, and her "I'm so ashamed and embarrassed by you" mother. Needless to say she got kicked out and blacklisted from every other young girls team building emotional supporting organization in the valley.

She tried to sneak into the 4-H meetings (went to 3 of them) but soon was discovered and quickly yanked out by her mom and some of the 4-H girls who knew her from Girl Scouts.

But don't worry, this albatross which hung around her neck for so many years has not tainted her love of the cookie. I am happy to report that every spring she still gets a hanker'n for the Thin Mint and the Samoa. Why just tonight as she ran into the grocery store for some quick items, she actually took longer than expected due to the Girl Scouts selling cookies on the way out. Needless to say, she may or may not have grabbed 3 boxes- and that's just the start. But how could she not? Those little pixie-pony tail wearing "Brownies" with their card table and crude adding machine (pen and paper) and stacks of colorful cookie boxes are just too irresistible.

She holds no grudges against the GSA and hopes that her daughters may too find the joy that comes from a Girl Scout Cookie.

Looks like her youngest is on the right track. Let's just hope that her love of the cookie does not become an obsession/felony.

article of faith

the girls have been working on their articles of faith. Every Sunday they sit with their picture cards and memorize during Sacrament. I really like this because they don't talk or fight with each other- they are too busy memorizing. The incentive to memorize you ask? Well it is due largely in part to my wonderful mothering skills. I have just worked really hard on trying to instill the importance of the articles of faith and how God will bless you if you memorize them. We work on them all week and I simply praise them for their efforts. It's all about the verbal praise. They also get a king sized candy bar from the primary presidency for each one that they pass off which I am sure helps too.

Recently Kirsten passed of #2. Yesterday she went around the house reciting it over and over again. She was setting the table and was blurting out "men will be punished for their own sins and not for Adam's progression!" While playing with Lilly she informed her that "Men will be punished for their own sins and not for Adam's regresion" and last night she walked up to Jim who as on his new computer and said "dad, your computer is way nicer than ours. How come you get to have the nice one? (pause) Dad, Men will be punished for their own sin's and not for Adam's transgression!" and then she just walked away.

well, I don't have cancer. I had my check-up and news on the biopsy from the "suspicious" mole that I had removed from off the cusp my Buttocks. Ya know, it's an unusual thing being in a cancer doctors office. My first visit I was the only patient there so nothing really stood out to me. But yesterday was different. There were 3 other patients in the office and my first thought was "oh great, he's behind and now I am going to be be here forever. GEEZ!" then the reality of that moment sunk in deep and hard. "why are they here? Do they have cancer? Are they dying? Are they awaiting the news of their biopsy too? There is nothing more terminal than the office of a Cancer Doctor.
It really had me thinking and being grateful all day- well up until the moment when I went to pay my bill. The Dr's secretary has the most gigantic mole on the side of her head. I mean HUGE! It's above her left eyebrow and must stand off of her head at a good 1/2 inch or so. All I could think of was the scene in Uncle Buck when he flips the secretary a quarter and tells her to "go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off!"
AND that mole doesn't look suspicious? HUH- It was more suspicious than a pregnant nun! Lady, you work for a doctor who can "punch biopsy" that meatball from your head in 2 minutes flat. It probably has it's own weather system. Oh wait, is it your other twin-did I see you on Discovery "My twin inside of me?"
OK I am totally going to burn for this but at least we know that when I do die, it won't be due to complications of butt cancer- or complications following my assectomy. :)