Top Ten

Jim was asked to emcee the ward Christmas party and to come up with a top ten list. We asked a lot of people for their ideas and here are a few of them along with the actual list. Sorry it has taken me so long to post this but it is finally here:

The Top Ten Things You Can Say or Do to Get Out of a Calling:

10. Show up the interview with a starbuck's cup in your hand
9. Share with your bishop how your mission was the best 4 months of your life
8.Suggest inviting Tiger Woods to be the guest speaker at your next fireside
7.Did my parole officer approve this?
6. I can do anything that doesn't involve nights or weekends
5. Mention something about starting your own church
4. When you arrive ask if it's okay to smoke in the foyer
3.Make a deal to pay 12% tithing to get out of it
2.When asked if you have a problem with porn, Tell them you have a hard time remembering all of the passwords
1. I would love to be young men's president. Let me just check with my boyfriend first

Here are the ones that didn't make it-all though highly worthy of the mention:

Take your class to a bar to affirm that they don’t want to live that lifestyle.

Allow Men at Work and Erasure to be played as prelude music.

Have your next class party catered – spare no expense.

That's what she said!

Children and most adults hate me.

Announce during testimony meeting how happy you were to learn that the church finally decided to support gay marriage.

"Accidentally" use every word in the book when cheering for the teacher's volley ball game

Talk about plural marriage every chance you get with just the slightest sympathy (lessons, talks, testimonies).

Start a discussion group with some ward members that are on the fringe, but mostly in-actives.

Name one of your children Bathsheba, Jezebel, Cain or Judas.

Start calling/texting the bishops wife

Photo copy your face on the Library copier and insert into the programs

During your Sunday School "lessons" just play pictionary or Heads Up 7-Up

During church, take your primary kids to the YMCA to practice baptizing

If asked to be the ward chorister, demand that the choir only perform using kazoo's and nose flutes

Ask if this calling came straight from the Pope

"It's so cool you let Baptists teach Gospel Doctrine in this Church."

Bring a six-pack to your interview with the Bishop.

Ask if it's okay to leave your adult website up through the holidays.

Fake a seizure.

Pick a fight with the 1st counselor during a friendly church basketball game.

Fill the sacrament cups with Sprite.

Steal the Relief Society table doily.